and other Family Members

Each ONE abortion may touch as many lives as 20, 30 or even 40 individual people.

Think about it; the parents, grandparents, siblings, aunt, uncles, cousins, grandchildren, extended family, neighbors, friends, the person who tried to talk someone OUT of an abortion, the person who drove to the abortion, the people who performed the abortion and even people we don't know.  Because post-abortion syndrome is NOT "mother" specific, it's not "just" about you....many lives are traumatized by the aftermath of abortion.  The ripple effect is indefinite! 

In spite of one's reluctance to talk about feelings, many men, siblings, grandparents, friends, etc., battle with guilt, anger, grief and loss.  For example, a man may have a sense of violated manhood and lost fatherhood at the core of his struggle. Men may feel like failures at the inability to provide or protect their family.  As with women, these unresolved feelings may lead to turmoil of emotions, addictive behaviors, violence and broken relationships  Forgotten fathers need understanding, compassion, forgiveness and healing too!

Healing begins when a woman, man, grandparent, etc., takes responsibility for their involvement in the abortion experience.  Many mothers feel pressured to abort their babies, when the fathers or grandparents, threaten to leave, kick them out, or tell her to "handle things" on her own.  Mothers often feel betrayed by the individuals who supposedly love her the most. Some young mothers/fathers choose abortion, simply because they are afraid of telling their parents.  Most parents say they wish they had known. They would have helped their daughters/sons.

According to researcher David Reardon, over 84% of women say they would have chosen "life" for their children, had they had the support of loved ones.  Unfortunately, boyfriends and husbands top the list of the most influential people in a woman's decision to abort.  Abortion definitely IS a mans' issue!  Not only in the decision making process, but in the need for healing.

The guilt and burden of a man who's pressured a woman into abortion, is unbearable at times.  They feel guilty for their sexual irresponsibility and feel unforgivable for pushing the woman to take the life of their child (Jackson).  Even if abortion was in a previous relationship, it can be divisive to later marriage/s. 

Other men, siblings, grandparents, friends, etc.; are left to handle the "aftermath" of an abortion when they would have rather the mother chosen "life."  Maybe they tried to talk the mother out of the abortion, or found out afterward that she had made the choice without their knowledge.  These people are touched by the abortion experience as well.  They deserve to grieve the loss of that child, as much as the woman who laid on the table.

If you are a man, grandparent, sibling, friend, etc.... that has been touched by an abortion experience, there is help and healing programs JUST for you.  If you know a woman who just experienced an abortion, please be gentle, caring, patient, understanding and available to listen.  You can be supportive during the loss.  Lean on each other!  Validate feelings.  Working together will greatly enhance the healing and restoration while deepening your relationship/friendship.   

There is growing evidence that siblings of aborted children are impacted adversely as well. This is called Post-Abortion Survivor Syndrome. Children have often reported "knowing" that a brother or sister is missing.  A child born 1-3 years after an abortion, often called the "replacement child", must live up to high expectations and fill the deep emotional needs of the mother, and or father.   A child living at the time of his/her sibling's abortion may feel survivor guilt and/or a false sense of responsibility for the death of his/her sibling.  Some parents actually victimize their living children by discussing with them whether or not to abort.  Some even tell their children that they're choosing abortion for the benefit of the living offspring.  This forces the children to be accomplices to the death of their sibling.  The living sibling must be allowed to grieve the loss of their aborted sibling, even if other family members maybe stuck in denial for the abortion itself.  The entire family truly needs counseling/healing at this point.

For further information regarding family emotions, please contact us at 949-679-9276!  We can refer you to specialists in the area of Post-Abortion Survivor Syndrome and special healing programs for men, grandparents, siblings and other family members.