I Wish Someone Had Told Me...

·         That the first time I had sex, I would get pregnant.

·         That the "man" with whom I shared that first intimate moment would choose not to father his child.

·         That the "man" who seemed to know what was best would actually be encouraging me to make the most regretful decision of my life, as well as his.

·         That $300, the cost of my abortion, would not fix my problem, but instead would cause more emotional and physical trauma than I could possibly imagine...and would ultimately change my life forever.

·         That my choice was motivated by feelings of shock and fear, by my being self-seeking and irresponsible, and by worry about what my parents, friends, and family might think.

·         That there were people who would have loved to have adopted and cherished my child.

·         That there were agencies that would help me, if I had decided to parent or place my baby for adoption.

·         That my parents might have understood if I had told them I was pregnant.

·         Not to make a rash decision based on the influence of others…or on my university scholarship.

·         That my life didn’t have to stop because I was pregnant.

·         That other options were available.

·         That life is about choices, and this "pro-choice" decision I was making would result in a truly "poor choice."

·         That there was at least one person who would be willing to help me.

I Wish Someone Had Told Me...

·         That the abortion clinic’s staff would humiliate me.

·         That neither Planned Parenthood nor Family Planning would know the first thing about caring for their clients.

·         That the girl ahead of me in line would laugh the whole time, claiming her fifth abortion, and declaring, “It’s easy, not to worry."

·         That I could have gotten off of the table, when I realized I was making a horrific mistake.

·         That I could have changed my mind until the very last minute, no matter what the doctors or nurses told me.

·         That a part of my maternity would die on that table, right along with my child.

·         That I would feel more appalled with myself after the "procedure," as I was ushered out the clinic’s back door.

·         That people didn’t talk about these "kinds of things!"  That after "it" was over, I wouldn’t be able to talk about it either.

·         That there would be so much physical and emotional pain involved...not just then, but twenty-three years later.

·         That I would lose a part of my dignity, self-love, and purpose in life.

·         That one day I would deeply regret this "choice.”

I Wish Someone Had Told Me...

·         That I wasn’t God, and that He alone should determine life and death.

I Wish Someone Had Told Me...

·         That the emotions of grief, guilt, and shame would take over my life.

·         That for years I would wake up crying in the middle of the night.

·         That on each anniversary date of my abortion, and due date, I would feel numb and unable to move.

·         That due to the emotional pain of my "choice,” I would consider suicide twice.

I Wish Someone Had Told Me...

·         That a baby is always a gift and miracle.

·         That the description of my fetus being "just a blob of tissue," would be understood as dishonest when I graduated with degrees in Human/Child Development and Counseling Psychology.

·         That seven years later, the joy of seeing my son’s ultrasound pictures would be tainted by sorrow, knowing that I had terminated my first child’s life.

·         That the birth of my son would truly be a day of reckoning for me.

·         That my son's hugs and kisses, or hearing him say, "I love you, Mommy, more than all the houses, stars, and cars!" would mean more to me than I can possibly explain. That my aborted child might have shared similar "endearments."

·         That two years into my marriage, my husband and I would be separated and seeing a marriage counselor.

I Wish Someone Had Told Me…

·         That while visiting a friend’s house, I would be a victim of non-consenting sex, when offered a ride home.

·         That I would get pregnant from that situation.

·         That I might be forced to choose abortion again, because those closest to me said I couldn’t bring a another man's child into the world, while I was married to someone else.

·         That the abortion wouldn’t save my marriage, as others said it might.

·         That I'd end up losing both my baby and my husband.

I Wish Someone Had Told Me…

·         That I would later miscarry another pregnancy and never be able to have other children.

·         That I would have a hysterectomy before I was forty years old.

I Wish Someone Had Told Me...

·         That following my hysterectomy my heart’s wound would re-open and ache even more for my lost babies.

·         That I would again weep for those children, even though I knew they were in Heaven.

·         That when I finally chose to admit my mistakes, I would be told, “Just forget about it." or "It was your choice."

·         That people wouldn’t let me talk about it, and would judge me.  Even the friends/people who call themselves "Christians."

I Wish Someone Had Told Me…

·         That it would take the accepting hearts and compassion of a few select women to assist in my healing.

·         That I would eventually find others who had suffered in silence.

·         That I could go through a healing program in which God would release me from the shame, guilt, and grief that I had suffered for so many, many years.

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I'm GLAD Someone Told Me...

·         That God had personally carried my children home to Heaven!

·         That He has wanted to comfort me!

·         That I could name my children, who are forever covered with His fingerprints!

·         That Dylan Conor and Dory Kalani could be close to me in heart and soul, even here on Earth!

·         That the process of forgiving myself would be terribly painful and tearfully emotional, yet divinely possible!

·         That when I finally get to Heaven, Dylan and Dory won’t remember why I haven’t held them, hugged them, or kissed them!

·         That God’s grace would set me free!

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